I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
