Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
