i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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