Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
