There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize