I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
