She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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