come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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