drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
