He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
