Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
