do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
