I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
