I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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