So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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