Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."