i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.