Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
where are you?
Hypothermia
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
