we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.