Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
