i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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