bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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