Buhtt sex?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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