the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need moral support for this bender
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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