Grow some girl-balls and come out already
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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