awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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