im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
