I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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