am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
