So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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