We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
