All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
