Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
