fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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