i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
