did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
