As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
