only you would photoshop your dick
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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