I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
love makes seman taste better
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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