you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
