He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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