Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
