I love black thongs
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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