he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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