And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
