Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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