Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You made out with two different species that night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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