Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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