I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
