he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
