HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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