You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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