uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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