I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
