We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
