The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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