just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
