Banned from zoo.
Again?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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