I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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