Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
