the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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