His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize