I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
