I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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